either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
