i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
