So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize