what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
