Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
