You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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