don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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