you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Non-Jews are for practice
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
