i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
