I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
