once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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