like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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