Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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