Yo dont text me then not text me
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Can I color on your dick again?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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