i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
