it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
