Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
