Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
