she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
