nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
