I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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