My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
