I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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