I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
