Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
