i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
