a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
