i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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