nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize