He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
