I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Randomize
