my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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