come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
