Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
