There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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