Say something about gay babies.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
