Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Randomize
