He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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