Have you finally orgasmed yet?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
