but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
