I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize