I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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