Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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