I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
