I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
