Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
