I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
