In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
no, he came in my armpit
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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