my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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