If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
