If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
