she looked like the bat from fern gully.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
