no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
