I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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