I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
cat food counts as protein by the way
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
