I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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