if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Randomize
