you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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