too bad you live with your parents still
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
