no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
