You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
