some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize