we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
