he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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