At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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